eFax of Life from CBMC Heartland
Buffalo Butt or Butterfly?
An ‘8+’ for Liz. A ‘3’ for me.
Just returned from a vacation in Tahiti. Went with friends. A week on a sail boat. Then some days staying in a beach resort.
• Heard Liz scream with delight – as the dolphins were surfacing right below her feet while we were cruising at about 5 knots through the ocean • Watched her go snorkeling again and again – as she wondered at the beauty of the coral and many varieties of fish • Laughed at how she didn’t want to leave the sting rays that were swimming all around and rubbing up against her to be petted. Yes, she had an ‘8+’.
It’s just not how I’d personally spend time, money, energy.
• First day out – I puked from sea sickness • The sailboat air conditioner wasn’t working. This is their hot season – and every night I went to bed in sweat and woke up in sweat • Sunburned • Heat rash • Went through four pills for migraine headaches • The airline lost our luggage • We missed airline connections because of flight delays • Expensive • It’s impossible for me to have godly thoughts when there’s a nude beach right in front of your hotel. On a zero to ten scale – I’d say it was a ‘3’.
But I’d do it again.
I don’t recall my parents ever taking a non-working vacation. Oh, they traveled – but it was always business-related (tax deductible). And dad wouldn’t take time for mom to see any of the tourist/fun stuff along the way.
So it was natural that I followed in his footsteps.
Had no clue how my selfishness was hurting Liz. And our marriage.
Imagine this: We take a little pebble and scotch tape it onto the butt of a buffalo. Impact on the buffalo? None! With his thick hide – he doesn’t even notice the added weight.
Now imagine this: We take the same little pebble and scotch tape it to the wing of a butterfly. Impact on the butterfly? Death! With its tender, sensitive structure – the butterfly becomes incapacitated.
Us guys are buffalo-butts. Our wives are butterflies. And it was years before I realized how my insensitivity was hurting Liz.
Obviously – I’m not the perfect husband. Often – I’m a real buffalo butt to live with! (How many guys do you know that received five rolls of barbed wire for Christmas and think it’s an 8+ vacation to spend time (with your wife) building ranch fence?)
Just because we’ve been married 34 years – doesn’t mean we like the same things. But, we have learned what the other enjoys and we have learned love is serving the other.
So – here’s some questions:
- If your spouse could design several ‘dream vacations’ – what would they look like?
- What are some ‘dream vacation’ things you’d like to do?
- When are you going to start?
I married Liz for sex, grins, and giggles. I married her because she was a joy to be with. But work, bills, duties, kids, responsibilities, and more bills – can really suck the red right out of my snow cone. Life becomes boring. And burdensome.
“Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight.” Prov. 5:18-19
CBMC Heartland, 02/08/03
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